Border Patrol: the foundation of longterm success

One of my favorite verses in the Book of Mormon is the first verse of Alma chapter one: "...King Mosiah having gone the way of all the earth, having warred a good warfare, walking uprightly before God..." Because this life is a spiritual war we often use military analogies and metaphors. One way to understand how to protect yourself in this spiritual war is to think of your soul as a city. A brilliant and skilled enemy wants to conquer your city. If you want to keep his forces out then you need effective defenses and guards to watch your border. In other words, you need to have a Border Patrol.

Border Patrol is everything you do on purpose to keep yourself safe. You'll have the constant sentries on the walls (things you do every day, possibly multiple times a day, like MAN PWR goals) and you'll have the soldiers waiting in the garrison for when the enemy is actually at the gates (your "as-needed" strategies like "Notice it, Name it, Flip it, Find it"). But to keep your guards in the garrison sharp you'll need to drill them often while you're not under attack.

The best Border Patrols will protect all four walls of your city. The New Testament tells us what those four walls are. 

There are only a handful of verses in all of Scripture that tell us what Jesus Christ's teenage years were like. Of those verses, there is only one in the four gospels. This one sentence summarizes 18 years of the Savior's life. Please consider, how important this one verse must be if it's all we get for this period of His life?

The scripture is Luke 2:52 "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." In other words, He developed intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially.  If the Savior of the world needed to grow in these four areas, don't we need to do the same? If we want to be adequately protected from the armies of the Adversary, we need to have activities in place that will defend each of these walls.

Many of the people I work with, especially those just beginning their journey towards addiction recovery, tend to primarily protect their Spiritual wall. Most of them feel that if they are doing enough spiritual activities they will be fine. This is a very risky approach to war and there is a story in the Book of Mormon about what happens if we do this.

Towards the end of the war started by Amalickiah and continued by his brother Ammoron, Captain Moroni joins forces with Chief Judge Pahoran and they lay siege to the city of Nephihah. The Lamanites inside the city are too smart to leave their place of protection to attack the Nephites, so Captain Moroni finds another strategy. In the middle of the night he climbs up the city wall and spies on the Lamanite army. The entire army is camped by the Eastern wall, which is where the only way in and out of the city is located, and they are all asleep. Captain Moroni rushes back to his army, wakes everybody, and commands them to hastily prepare ropes and ladders. They then hurry to the Western wall and climb down inside. When the Lamanites wake up they discover the entire Nephite army is inside the city walls, and the only intelligent option available is to abandon the city Nephihah and flee. Captain Moroni and Chief Judge Pahoran retook the city without losing a single soldier while the Lamanites lost the city and many soldiers in the attack. (Alma 62:18-26)

Protecting your spiritual wall is crucial to defending your city, but don't go so far that it is protected at the expense of your other walls. There must be a balance. You must be learning true things, making healthy and meaningful connections with family and others, using your physical body for good, as well as reading your scriptures and saying your prayers. These things need to be done everyday, everyday, everyday.

With that understanding, it is important to know that Captain Moroni didn't fortify Zarahemla in a day. It took a long time to add each new line of defense. First Moroni's soldiers had to dig a large ditch all the way around the city and pile the dirt they dug into a tall mound. Then they built a timber wall on top of the ridge of dirt. When that was done they topped the timber wall with a picket, then built towers, then ways to keep the people in the towers safe, and lastly, they stocked the towers with rocks they could throw at attackers.

It takes time to build an effective personal Border Patrol. It helps to learn from those who came before you, but there will be some trial and error you will need to experience on your own. Analyzing the battles you lose and the close calls you manage to win will be some of your best resources as you develop and personalize your Border Patrol.

I don't want to give too many ideas for specific Border Patrol activities, using your creativity is vital to long-term success, but here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Spiritual:

• Daily prayer
• Daily scripture study
• Regular participation (not the same as attendance) in church meetings
• Frequent participation in temple ordinances

Physical:

• Flagpole drills
• Exercise
• Sport/instrument/art practice

Intellectual:

• Pursue a new hobby/Passion Project
• Study a subject that interests you
• Learn/practice a different language
• Anything that helps you learn principles of truth
• "Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand; Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms" (Doctrine and Covenants 88: 78-79)
• "....seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning even by study and also by faith;" (Doctrine and Covenants 109:7)

Social:

• Family Home Evening
• Wholesome recreational activities (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)
• Minister to someone

It is also important to note that no intelligent commander of a city would have only one guard on each wall. The best Border Patrols include several small activities for each wall. These activities should be spread throughout the day, rather than clumped together in the evening. A brilliant enemy would surely notice if the guards on the walls only patrolled once a day, but were largely absent the rest of the time. If you were a brilliant military tactician spying on a city you wanted to conquer and saw that sentries only patrolled the walls once a day, at the same time everyday, how would you take advantage of the situation?

One of Satan's primary tactics will be to try and get you to forget about your Border Patrol activities, creating a reminder system will be crucial to long-term success. Many people initially set reminders on their phone, I've discovered that for most people this works well for about three to seven days. After that time many warriors will begin to ignore their reminders, so it is important to change them up. Using physical reminders can be very helpful.

I used to place a large rock in the middle of my bedroom floor to remind me to pray. After my brother stubbed his toes on it three or four times I decided to switch it to a tripwire. I figured that since I woke up earlier than he did it would hurt him less. I also figured that if I forgot to pray then feeling the rope against my ankles would remind me. If I forgot about the rope and tripped then I could pray while I was down on the floor. That plan worked well for me (and let my brother's toes heal). Other physical reminders that work well are bracelets, hanging a string from a doorway at eye-level, notes on pillows or bathroom mirror, or similar things.

Another effective reminder system is to associate Border Patrol activities with things you already do everyday. For example, for as long as I can remember my father has read his scriptures while he was eating his breakfast. By associating those two things he almost never forgets or neglects his personal study of the scriptures.

One other way to help yourself remember is to create a specific time everyday when you will do your Border Patrol. For most of my life my mother would wake up before my siblings and I started getting ready for school so that she had some quiet time that she could communicate with God and study her scriptures. I have many memories of coming to the living room early in the morning to find my mom reading from her scriptures, already filled with red underlines from the years of study she has done.

As you practice these principles of Border Patrol you'll discover what works for you and what doesn't. By consistently living these principles you will be more available and attuned to the promptings of the Holy Ghost because you will more frequently be at a Level 0 on the Chemical Scale. You will find that you will function better in all of your roles, whether that may be parent, student, child, employee, boss, sibling, instructor, or anything else.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Chemical Scale - Level 2: Unedifying Emotions

This is the fifth in a series of articles on the Chemical Scale.

We have been counseled often to watch our thoughts to keep ourselves safe. We even learn from several Book of Mormon prophets that we will be held accountable before God for our thoughts. But if all we do is watch our thoughts, we miss the two previous levels that set us up for failure. King Benjamin tells us to "watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds" (Mosiah 4:30). Level 3 is thoughts, Level 4 is words, and Level 5 is deeds. Unless you want to start fighting the battle after Satan has already made two successful assaults, you also need to "watch yourselves" which includes monitoring your emotions.

Level 2 is the Unedifying emotions that set you up for failure. I chose the term "Unedifying Emotions" over "Negative Emotions" or "Bad Feelings" on purpose because it conveys a different message. Firstly, I think there are very few emotions that can fairly be labeled as "bad" and there aren't very many of those. These would include feelings like lust, hate, and envy. While these can be Level 2's, they usually aren't. Secondly, some of the feelings we typically think of as negative can still be uplifting or edifying. For example, we learn in the New Testament that there are times that Jesus is so sad he weeps and others where he is so angry he chases people from the temple with a whip. While it's nice to feel upbeat, content, and positive, we need these "negative emotions" to be emotionally whole. Because of these reasons, I choose to refer to Level 2's as unedifying.

It may also be helpful to think of a Level 2 as some sort of emotional pain or discomfort that we would like relief from. Most people who don't feel pain aren't going to seek a painkiller. In the same way, if Satan tries to tempt us when we are feeling edified and don't need to relieve discomfort then we'll just punch him out and keep walking without even missing a step. He needs to groom us into a vulnerable place to do what we normally wouldn't. I hope you caught the vibe I tried to include in that last sentence. Satan is a pedophile, and he will slowly groom us and whisper lies in our ears until we eventually beat him to a pulp or he seduces us to do something we normally wouldn't.

Common examples of Level 2's are in the acronym B.L.A.S.T.: bored, lazy/lonely, angry/anxious/annoyed, stressed/sad, tired. A sure sign that you are at a Level 2 is when you find the voice of a loved one (mother, spouse, sibling, child, etc.) irritating. There are more than these, but these seem to be the most common ones. Again, these are the unedifying versions of these emotions. Captain Moroni used righteous anger to make the Title of Liberty and protect his people, Amalickiah swore in unrighteous anger to drink Captain Moroni's blood. Five hundred years later the prophet Moroni was anxious that those who read his writings would mock and disbelieve them because of his mistakes, from that anxiety came humility and the conversation where Jesus Christ promises that through His grace weak things can become strong. The ancient prophet Eli was too anxious to call his sons to repentance when they led Israel astray, and all of them perished. Boredom and laziness seem to be corrupt versions of resting.  Sadness often turns to self-pity and destructive actions, on the other hand the God of Heaven was so sad He wept at the wickedness of His children prior to sending the floods to cleanse the Earth.

There are many ways that a Level 2 can start. Sometimes it is instructive to backtrack and discover how and where the Level 2 began, but it may be better to do this after you have won the battle. By identifying how and where the unedifying emotion began you can figure out what things you are vulnerable to and need to avoid whenever possible. This can also help you identify what I call your "Achilles Heel Emotion." Everyone has one or more emotion that just makes them extra vulnerable to losing a battle. For many high school aged teens, it may be boredom. I met several guys who struggle to win when they are angry. I do some really stupid stuff when I am sleepy.

It can be very helpful to try and name the feeling you are experiencing, particularly for men. At an early age both boys and girls experience most emotion deep in the middle portion of the brain where there are few connections to the language parts of the brain. This is part of why it is difficult for small children to articulate how they are feeling. As girls mature into women, many of those emotions migrate to the surface where there are many language connections making it easier to communicate how they feel. For men, the majority of emotion is still experienced deep in the brain and it is much more effortful for them to articulate what they are feeling. By giving names to those feelings, it becomes a little easier to communicate but also helps them "flag" them so they can recognize these feelings later and any vulnerabilities that may come with them.

If we use the same example we have for the other articles, perhaps you are sitting at your desk at work and are just bored to tears. Your eyes flick to the cookies, "Dude! Those look really good right now."

"No, I promised myself I wouldn't."

"You didn't really mean that. Besides, it was so nice of Jennifer to bring them. You don't want to hurt her feelings by not eating one."

"Stop! I know where this is going."

"You don't have to eat one. Just think about how it would taste. Pick one up and smell it. That might satisfy you and you can put it right back."

"I shouldn't, but…."

I hope by now you were able to recognize the transitions from Level 2 to 3 and from Level 3 to 4 in that conversation. In our example, if this person doesn't do something drastic immediately they will quickly reach Level 5, then Crash.

The conversation would be different if you were anxious because you had to meet a deadline, but the result may be the same. Whatever your Achilles Heel Emotion is, Satan will use it against you to persuade you to eat the cookie.

There are several ways to win a mood battle, which is a bother term for fighting at Level 2. One of the most helpful is running your Flagpole. If you are fighting an "I don't feel like it" battle, then the key is "Don't think, don't feel, just do." If you pause to check how you're feeling before doing what you know you should, you'll discover that you very rarely actually feel like doing what you committed to do.

Another way to win a mood battle is "Notice it, Name it, Flip it, Find it." In this strategy you notice the Level 2 you are experiencing, you analyze it, and you give it a name. Then you flip it, or consider what it's opposite and edifying version might be. Once you have identified the edifying version, you find a plan or a first step to  begin doing what people who feel that way do. "And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness" (2 Nephi 5:27). If you are seeking peace, live after the manner of peace. If you want to be patient, live after the manner of patience. Your heart will follow your body and you will begin to feel the way you are acting.

As a disclaimer, I should note that it is very difficult to use "Find it, Name it, Flip it" during a panic attack. After all, who can act peaceful when you feel a crushing weight on your chest and literally cannot breathe properly? The same is true for anxiety attacks, as well as manic or depressive episodes. In each of these extreme cases, and others like them, Level 2 battles are far more intense than most of us will have to deal with. Winning here is possible, but it may take the coaching of a qualified counselor.

How easy it is to win a battle at Level 2 is mostly dependent upon the intensity of the emotion.  Most battles for most people will involve very subtle unedifying emotions such as being just a little bored, or a little sleepy, or a little stressed.  For most people, relatively few battles will involve the world-shattering emotions of grief, depression, panic and anxiety attacks, and so on.  Whether intense or subtle, these battles can be won and winning here is so much better than trying to fight at a Level 5.

In the next and last article in this series, we will explore Level 1: the Chemical Drip and Level 0: In Control.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching