It is Not a Sin to be Tempted

For many people facing addiction, there is a shift that takes place as they begin to experience real recovery for extended periods of time. Usually, they begin to focus on healing and winning for the long term. They are often more strict with themselves as they pursue this deeper level of progress. It is not uncommon for these people to pursue the coveted state of "[having] no more disposition to do evil" (Mosiah 5:2). As unlikely or impossible as it seems, some people pursue this righteous desire so passionately that they can cause self-harm and unnecessary guilt. This happens when the boundaries between natural desire, temptation, and sin get blurred.

Natural desire, or even curiosity for that matter, and temptation are not

synonymous. When God created our bodies He provided them with a way to communicate needs, warnings, and other important messages. We feel discomfort in our abdomen that communicates the need to eat. We feel pain to tell us something is wrong and needs healing. Our mouths feel dry to communicate the need to drink life-sustaining fluids. The discomfort of not meeting these needs are balanced by pleasant messages related to fulfilling them. A cold beverage feels refreshing. Certain foods taste delicious. To have a backache massaged away feels like bliss.

The desire for deep, personal, and intimate connections are likewise natural and God-given. These desires, by themselves, are neither a temptation nor a sin. Just as it is not a sin or a temptation to desire a refreshing drink of water, the desire for human connection, whether or not it includes a sexual component, is not a temptation or a sin by itself.

That is not to say that these desires can’t be twisted and used against us. Satan will take anything he can use to destroy or torment a soul. He will take a natural desire for food and twist it into temptation while you are trying to fast or meditate. He will turn any form of pain relief into an addiction, if given the chance. So it should not be surprising that Satan will take the natural desire for deep and personal connection and try to twist it into a soulless and empty act of sexuality.

Even then, temptation is not a sin. We know from scripture that Jesus Christ was a sinless man. "...Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth" (1 Peter 2:21-22). But we also know that Christ was tempted, and not just the three events that came right after his fasting in the wilderness for 40 days. "Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15, emphasis added).  If Jesus Christ was tempted in all points, if he endured more temptation than any of us (which is what it sounds like), and yet remained sinless then it must not be a sin to be tempted.

One of Satan's tactics is to persuade you that to think an unclean thought is sinful and makes you vile and unworthy. He will work to convince you that because these brief but unvirtuous thoughts create sensations that feel desirable, you are sinful. If left unchecked, those thoughts can be sinful, but the desires and temptations are not sins by themselves.

Another tactic of the Enemy is that if

he can't persuade you to believe that being tempted is sinful, then he will work to blur the line between temptation and sins of the heart. There are verses in the New Testament, the Book or Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants that warn that anyone who looks on one of God's children and lusts after them has committed adultery in their heart. At some point, a typical temptation can be transformed into a sin of the heart. I don't think there is an easy or clear way to draw the line that distinguishes those. I also don't think drawing that line is helpful or important. While being tempted isn't a sin, marinating in the temptation is foolish. Trying to discover how long you can consider or enjoy temptation before it becomes sinful is just begging for trouble. Consider some of the symbolism from Lehi's vision of the Tree of Life and the path that led to it. The dark mist that arose to confuse and lead people away was temptation. If your goal is to reach the tree and remain by it, standing still in the fog is counterproductive and foolish. When temptations come, quickly leave them or banish them as the Savior did. Jesus Christ was not passive towards temptation; when Peter inadvertently tempted his Master, the Savior's response to His chief apostle was, "Get behind me, Satan."

As you fight you can learn to better recognize when you are being tempted and to not feel guilt for experiencing part of mortality that we were meant to go through. You will learn ways to quickly root the temptation out and cast it away, saying like the Savior, "Get behind me, Satan."

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Fail to practice and you practice to fail

In spiritual warfare, it is important to act quickly. If you do not act quickly enough in the heat of battle, it will be over before you know it and you will have lost. For that reason, drills are important. A drill, in this context, is any activity that you can repeatedly practice, particularly those activities which help you win battles and return to Level Zero on the Chemical Scale.

If you have ever performed something

for a large audience, I imagine you understand the pressure to perform well. It could be blocking correctly in a high school football game, delivering your lines eloquently in a play, not squeaking while playing the clarinet with a band, or showing off your recent piece in an art show. In any of these examples, and many others, practice is the key element that allows you to perform well. If you want to perform with excellence while in the spotlight, you need to practice with diligence before ever stepping on stage.

Spiritual warfare isn't all that different. If you want to be able to use a strategy or tool with quickness and ease while under attack, you will need to practice that before you are attacked.

There seem to be two types of drills for Spiritual Warfare; I'll refer to them as basic and advanced. A basic drill is essentially what has already been described, you practice using a specific behavior that will help you win a battle. That can be reciting memorized scriptures, doing pushups, contacting a friend, or a vast number of other things. Advanced drills require intentional chemical manipulation of yourself, in addition to the basic components.

I am amazed at how God created the human brain. Its functionality and complexity is astounding. One of the cool things about the human brain is that it can't tell the difference between imagination, memory, and reality. The brain will react the same way to receiving a loving smile whether it's real, imagined, or remembered. I think it can be helpful to think of it like this: the brain is a large collection of Legos. When the brain receives input, it builds something out of Lego blocks to represent what it is experiencing and to make sense of it. Then it will take a snapshot of the model and keep the picture in a filing cabinet. Now the brain only has a certain number of Lego pieces, so it has to take the model apart in order to process the new sensations and experiences that it receives. When it wants to remember an old experience, it will pull out the picture it took and rebuild that model from scratch.

When we understand that the brain experiences reality, memories, and imagination the same way, it makes a little more sense when Jesus says, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).

This ability of the brain can be used for good as well as for evil. It is particularly helpful when creating advanced drills. By remembering what it is like to be tempted (the physical sensations, emotional experiences, etc.) you can actually recreate the chemical shift you had on a smaller and more controlled scale. By doing that and then running a drill, you can train yourself to automatically begin that drill as soon as that chemical shift occurs. I'll give an example that may help.

Let's say you are trying to establish a pattern of praying to your Father in Heaven every morning, but you are failing. When you wake up you often feel so groggy and befuddled that it seems remembering how to breathe is all you can manage. Creating a drill for this can help you to remember to pray in the morning. One way to do it would be to lie down on your bed in the afternoon when you aren't tired or sleepy. Set your normal morning alarm to go off in a few minutes, then just lay there intently remembering what it feels like when you first wake up. Remember the physical sensations, like the need to stretch a stiff limb, or the morning mouth taste, or whatever you often experience. Remember the grogginess and how it makes you feel. Remember the emotions like irritation at your alarm, "I don't want to get up," or the confusion about a weird dream. Remember as much as you can of what it is like to be just barely waking up. You'll begin to experience those things, but with a lot less intensity than normal. Then, as soon as your alarm goes off, immediately roll out of bed onto your knees into the position you pray in. Actually saying a prayer is even better. Practicing this drill several times a day will soon help create the habit of praying in the morning.

When you plan a drill you should have in mind both the desired outcome, the change you want the drill to produce, and the specific behavior you want to drill. Usually, identifying the goal of the drill helps you to figure out what behavior you need to practice. Once you know those you can figure out where, when, and how often you will perform the drill. I'll provide a humorous example later.

It is important to maintain drills, otherwise they lose their effectiveness and the behaviors you are practicing may fall apart. There are many ways to do this, and a few things to keep in mind as you prepare to maintain these drills for the long term.

Among behavioral scientists there is the term "extinction" which I think is appropriate to discuss here. Extinction typically happens when you go a long period of time without pairing the cue or reminder with the behavior. If you go long enough without drilling, the habit related to it may fall apart. If you don't practice a battle-winning-behavior then it may not happen well or at all when you are under attack.

If you are using a daily or frequent cue or reminder system help you with your drill, you will likely find that soon the reminder may lose its potency. This seems especially true for paper notes and phone alarms. This has a simple solution, change what the reminder is (ex: different ring tone or different color of paper) and when/where it occurs. By making small changes like this, reminders to help complete the drill should stay fresh and make it easier to accomplish.

Use intentional practice. In my

teenage years I had the opportunity to study Tae Kwondo and other martial arts. I was the only student similar in stature to the owner of the studio so I was invited to train with him as he prepared for his 5th Degree Blackbelt test. When he returned from taking his test he told me that the main reason that people failed their Blackbelt test was because they couldn't do the most basic skills properly. The best warriors intentionally practice getting the most basic things right, which helps them accomplish more advanced things.

As the behavior you are drilling becomes more ingrained and instinctual, it can be appropriate to drill less often. However, stopping the drill altogether will likely eventually lead to extinction of the habit.

Drills can be used for just about any behavior that you want to work on, whether it is starting something or improving it. You can do drills to help with prayers like we've talked about. You can do drills to check your chemical levels or emotional experiences throughout the day. You can drill scripture memorization, language study, journal writing, or just about any other thing you choose to. You can even drill with other people. I've included a true and funny story of how you can do a collaborative drill with family, and see positive results.

I have a friend who wanted to improve her family's scripture study. In her family they choose to do scripture study at 6 AM each morning. With several teenagers and some younger kids at home, you can imagine how unenthusiastic her children are about hearing a knock on their bedroom door at 5:55 each morning and being invited to come to the living room. This mom decided to try using drills to make mornings a little easier and, hopefully, more spiritual. One afternoon she explained the principle of drills to her kids and told them they were going to do a few to hopefully make the mornings less painful. She instructed each of her children to go to their bedrooms and lay on their beds. In a few minutes she would come by and do her normal knock-and-invite routine. They were then to immediately get out of bed, grab their scriptures, and meet in the living room. Her children thought it was silly, but complied. They drilled it once, and everyone followed the instructions and were soon together in the living room with scriptures in hand. This mother thanked her family, then instructed them to return to their rooms so they could do the drill again. Feeling this was very silly, the children again complied. Soon she came by again knocking on doors and inviting, and everyone met in the living room with their scriptures. This mom then said they were going to do it one more time. By this time, the kids thought this was an absolutely ridiculous thing to do on an afternoon, but most of them complied. For the third time, my friend went around knocking on doors and inviting, and her children got out of bed and grabbed their scriptures before heading to the living room. When the mother got to the living room she found that her two youngest were already there, having never returned to their rooms for the third time. They jokingly said they had woken up at 5:30. Once everyone was together the mom thanked her children and they were done.

The next morning, the mom's alarm clock went off and she immediately got up and began her 5:55 knock-and-invite routine. To her pleasant surprise, her kids started immediately rolling out of bed and finding their scriptures. She went down to the living room and found her two sleepy-eyed, miserable looking youngest children waiting with scriptures in hand. When she asked what was wrong, they grumpily told her that they had woken up at 5:30 and couldn't go back  to sleep.

There is great power in drilling, in practicing behaviors that will help us to improve ourselves, win battles, and overcome difficulties. As you create and practice drills, you will discover a greater mastery of yourself and an increased capacity to be the person you desire to become.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Q6: Learning the Spiritual Gift of Prophecy

Q6: What might the enemy try in the future? What do you need to do to be prepared for such an attack?

In the book Like Dragons Did They Fight there is a list of questions called "The Captain's Log." These questions form the core of many of the services provided by Life Changing Services. These questions and the way they are phrased were carefully refined over a period of years.  Of these questions the one that gets the least attention is Question 6, or Q6 as it is commonly known among those who attend some of the LCS programs.

The purpose of Q6 is to learn the spiritual gift of prophecy. Warriors practice predicting when and how they will be attacked next, then plan how they will win that battle. Though it often is used the least, Q6 is a powerful tool that can make fighting and winning much easier when it is consistently used. Answering Q6 in a way that is accurate and helpful requires following a process and frequent practice.

I'm sure there are many ways to explain how to learn the spiritual Gift of Prophecy, but this three step process is the way that makes the most sense to me.

1. Connect with God
2. Review recent battle history/look for patterns
3. Identify vulnerabilities in near future/make best guess

Step 1. Connect with God

Because you are trying to learn a spiritual gift, it is essential that you connect with the one who gives that gift.  The prayer doesn’t have to be lengthy so long as it is sincere. For me it is helpful to approach this conversation as if I am an officer on the front lines of a battle speaking to the general who is standing on the hill with a spyglass.  That prayer might sound something like, “Heavenly Father, I know that you see a lot more than I can. I am trying to prepare for the enemy’s next attack. Will you please lend me some of your knowledge so that I may know where and how he will come at me next?”

Step 2. Review recent battle history

Often times, Satan will find a tactic that works against you and use it over and over again. By identifying the recent patterns from your battles you can gain insight on what he is likely going to use in the near future. When reviewing battles from the past days or weeks it is helpful to consider three questions.

1. Is there a common time of day that Satan likes to attack? Is it closer to when you wake up, closer to when you go to bed, or somewhere in the middle?
2. Is there a common location that the attacks begin? (Ex: at work, school, in front of the TV, in bed, in the bathroom, while driving, etc.)
3. Is there a common tactic that Satan uses? (Ex: boredom, anxiety, too tired, Midnight Ambush, Bedtime Blitz, etc.)

By reviewing these questions it becomes a lot easier to identify what patterns Satan has used in the past and which ones he is likely to use in the future.

Step 3. Identify upcoming vulnerabilities 

The final step is to look for times and places that you will be vulnerable in the coming hours or days. The patterns you just discovered in Step 2 will help you know what to look for. After you identify these vulnerabilities, make your best educated guess on where, when, and how Satan will attack. Try to notice the nudges of the Holy Ghost as he helps you refine your prediction and make it more accurate. As you practice you will become more and more accurate in your prophecies.

Once you have predicted when and how Satan will attack you, you can make plans to win the battle before it starts. I know many warriors who will create a battle plan and then set a reminder to go off before the battle is supposed to start so they can remember to get the first strike in.

An element that will help the whole process is if you write down what you learn in steps 2 and 3 as well as the prediction you make.  Writing things down helps you put more thought into it and it helps you remember it better. It also is a sign to God of how you care about the inspiration He gives you. In a talk on revelation and inspiration, Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:

When it is for the Lord’s purposes, He can bring anything to our remembrance. That should not weaken our determination to record impressions of the Spirit. Inspiration carefully recorded shows God that His communications are sacred to us. Recording will also enhance our ability to recall revelation. Such recording of direction of the Spirit should be protected from loss or intrusion by others. (Ensign, May 2012)

As you frequently practice learning to prophesy with sincerity and act on the things you learn, the process will become easy and familiar to you. You will draw nearer to God and be more able to recognize the promptings he gives you. In very rare, sacred, and special circumstances God may even make you His instrument by giving you a prophecy on another's behalf. Whether or not this happens to you, treasure this sacred trust of the Gift of Personal Prophecy and you will see your ability to fight and win tremendously increase.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Border Patrol: the foundation of longterm success

One of my favorite verses in the Book of Mormon is the first verse of Alma chapter one: "...King Mosiah having gone the way of all the earth, having warred a good warfare, walking uprightly before God..." Because this life is a spiritual war we often use military analogies and metaphors. One way to understand how to protect yourself in this spiritual war is to think of your soul as a city. A brilliant and skilled enemy wants to conquer your city. If you want to keep his forces out then you need effective defenses and guards to watch your border. In other words, you need to have a Border Patrol.

Border Patrol is everything you do on purpose to keep yourself safe. You'll have the constant sentries on the walls (things you do every day, possibly multiple times a day, like MAN PWR goals) and you'll have the soldiers waiting in the garrison for when the enemy is actually at the gates (your "as-needed" strategies like "Notice it, Name it, Flip it, Find it"). But to keep your guards in the garrison sharp you'll need to drill them often while you're not under attack.

The best Border Patrols will protect all four walls of your city. The New Testament tells us what those four walls are. 

There are only a handful of verses in all of Scripture that tell us what Jesus Christ's teenage years were like. Of those verses, there is only one in the four gospels. This one sentence summarizes 18 years of the Savior's life. Please consider, how important this one verse must be if it's all we get for this period of His life?

The scripture is Luke 2:52 "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." In other words, He developed intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially.  If the Savior of the world needed to grow in these four areas, don't we need to do the same? If we want to be adequately protected from the armies of the Adversary, we need to have activities in place that will defend each of these walls.

Many of the people I work with, especially those just beginning their journey towards addiction recovery, tend to primarily protect their Spiritual wall. Most of them feel that if they are doing enough spiritual activities they will be fine. This is a very risky approach to war and there is a story in the Book of Mormon about what happens if we do this.

Towards the end of the war started by Amalickiah and continued by his brother Ammoron, Captain Moroni joins forces with Chief Judge Pahoran and they lay siege to the city of Nephihah. The Lamanites inside the city are too smart to leave their place of protection to attack the Nephites, so Captain Moroni finds another strategy. In the middle of the night he climbs up the city wall and spies on the Lamanite army. The entire army is camped by the Eastern wall, which is where the only way in and out of the city is located, and they are all asleep. Captain Moroni rushes back to his army, wakes everybody, and commands them to hastily prepare ropes and ladders. They then hurry to the Western wall and climb down inside. When the Lamanites wake up they discover the entire Nephite army is inside the city walls, and the only intelligent option available is to abandon the city Nephihah and flee. Captain Moroni and Chief Judge Pahoran retook the city without losing a single soldier while the Lamanites lost the city and many soldiers in the attack. (Alma 62:18-26)

Protecting your spiritual wall is crucial to defending your city, but don't go so far that it is protected at the expense of your other walls. There must be a balance. You must be learning true things, making healthy and meaningful connections with family and others, using your physical body for good, as well as reading your scriptures and saying your prayers. These things need to be done everyday, everyday, everyday.

With that understanding, it is important to know that Captain Moroni didn't fortify Zarahemla in a day. It took a long time to add each new line of defense. First Moroni's soldiers had to dig a large ditch all the way around the city and pile the dirt they dug into a tall mound. Then they built a timber wall on top of the ridge of dirt. When that was done they topped the timber wall with a picket, then built towers, then ways to keep the people in the towers safe, and lastly, they stocked the towers with rocks they could throw at attackers.

It takes time to build an effective personal Border Patrol. It helps to learn from those who came before you, but there will be some trial and error you will need to experience on your own. Analyzing the battles you lose and the close calls you manage to win will be some of your best resources as you develop and personalize your Border Patrol.

I don't want to give too many ideas for specific Border Patrol activities, using your creativity is vital to long-term success, but here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Spiritual:

• Daily prayer
• Daily scripture study
• Regular participation (not the same as attendance) in church meetings
• Frequent participation in temple ordinances

Physical:

• Flagpole drills
• Exercise
• Sport/instrument/art practice

Intellectual:

• Pursue a new hobby/Passion Project
• Study a subject that interests you
• Learn/practice a different language
• Anything that helps you learn principles of truth
• "Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand; Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms" (Doctrine and Covenants 88: 78-79)
• "....seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning even by study and also by faith;" (Doctrine and Covenants 109:7)

Social:

• Family Home Evening
• Wholesome recreational activities (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)
• Minister to someone

It is also important to note that no intelligent commander of a city would have only one guard on each wall. The best Border Patrols include several small activities for each wall. These activities should be spread throughout the day, rather than clumped together in the evening. A brilliant enemy would surely notice if the guards on the walls only patrolled once a day, but were largely absent the rest of the time. If you were a brilliant military tactician spying on a city you wanted to conquer and saw that sentries only patrolled the walls once a day, at the same time everyday, how would you take advantage of the situation?

One of Satan's primary tactics will be to try and get you to forget about your Border Patrol activities, creating a reminder system will be crucial to long-term success. Many people initially set reminders on their phone, I've discovered that for most people this works well for about three to seven days. After that time many warriors will begin to ignore their reminders, so it is important to change them up. Using physical reminders can be very helpful.

I used to place a large rock in the middle of my bedroom floor to remind me to pray. After my brother stubbed his toes on it three or four times I decided to switch it to a tripwire. I figured that since I woke up earlier than he did it would hurt him less. I also figured that if I forgot to pray then feeling the rope against my ankles would remind me. If I forgot about the rope and tripped then I could pray while I was down on the floor. That plan worked well for me (and let my brother's toes heal). Other physical reminders that work well are bracelets, hanging a string from a doorway at eye-level, notes on pillows or bathroom mirror, or similar things.

Another effective reminder system is to associate Border Patrol activities with things you already do everyday. For example, for as long as I can remember my father has read his scriptures while he was eating his breakfast. By associating those two things he almost never forgets or neglects his personal study of the scriptures.

One other way to help yourself remember is to create a specific time everyday when you will do your Border Patrol. For most of my life my mother would wake up before my siblings and I started getting ready for school so that she had some quiet time that she could communicate with God and study her scriptures. I have many memories of coming to the living room early in the morning to find my mom reading from her scriptures, already filled with red underlines from the years of study she has done.

As you practice these principles of Border Patrol you'll discover what works for you and what doesn't. By consistently living these principles you will be more available and attuned to the promptings of the Holy Ghost because you will more frequently be at a Level 0 on the Chemical Scale. You will find that you will function better in all of your roles, whether that may be parent, student, child, employee, boss, sibling, instructor, or anything else.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Chemical Scale - Level 2: Unedifying Emotions

This is the fifth in a series of articles on the Chemical Scale.

We have been counseled often to watch our thoughts to keep ourselves safe. We even learn from several Book of Mormon prophets that we will be held accountable before God for our thoughts. But if all we do is watch our thoughts, we miss the two previous levels that set us up for failure. King Benjamin tells us to "watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds" (Mosiah 4:30). Level 3 is thoughts, Level 4 is words, and Level 5 is deeds. Unless you want to start fighting the battle after Satan has already made two successful assaults, you also need to "watch yourselves" which includes monitoring your emotions.

Level 2 is the Unedifying emotions that set you up for failure. I chose the term "Unedifying Emotions" over "Negative Emotions" or "Bad Feelings" on purpose because it conveys a different message. Firstly, I think there are very few emotions that can fairly be labeled as "bad" and there aren't very many of those. These would include feelings like lust, hate, and envy. While these can be Level 2's, they usually aren't. Secondly, some of the feelings we typically think of as negative can still be uplifting or edifying. For example, we learn in the New Testament that there are times that Jesus is so sad he weeps and others where he is so angry he chases people from the temple with a whip. While it's nice to feel upbeat, content, and positive, we need these "negative emotions" to be emotionally whole. Because of these reasons, I choose to refer to Level 2's as unedifying.

It may also be helpful to think of a Level 2 as some sort of emotional pain or discomfort that we would like relief from. Most people who don't feel pain aren't going to seek a painkiller. In the same way, if Satan tries to tempt us when we are feeling edified and don't need to relieve discomfort then we'll just punch him out and keep walking without even missing a step. He needs to groom us into a vulnerable place to do what we normally wouldn't. I hope you caught the vibe I tried to include in that last sentence. Satan is a pedophile, and he will slowly groom us and whisper lies in our ears until we eventually beat him to a pulp or he seduces us to do something we normally wouldn't.

Common examples of Level 2's are in the acronym B.L.A.S.T.: bored, lazy/lonely, angry/anxious/annoyed, stressed/sad, tired. A sure sign that you are at a Level 2 is when you find the voice of a loved one (mother, spouse, sibling, child, etc.) irritating. There are more than these, but these seem to be the most common ones. Again, these are the unedifying versions of these emotions. Captain Moroni used righteous anger to make the Title of Liberty and protect his people, Amalickiah swore in unrighteous anger to drink Captain Moroni's blood. Five hundred years later the prophet Moroni was anxious that those who read his writings would mock and disbelieve them because of his mistakes, from that anxiety came humility and the conversation where Jesus Christ promises that through His grace weak things can become strong. The ancient prophet Eli was too anxious to call his sons to repentance when they led Israel astray, and all of them perished. Boredom and laziness seem to be corrupt versions of resting.  Sadness often turns to self-pity and destructive actions, on the other hand the God of Heaven was so sad He wept at the wickedness of His children prior to sending the floods to cleanse the Earth.

There are many ways that a Level 2 can start. Sometimes it is instructive to backtrack and discover how and where the Level 2 began, but it may be better to do this after you have won the battle. By identifying how and where the unedifying emotion began you can figure out what things you are vulnerable to and need to avoid whenever possible. This can also help you identify what I call your "Achilles Heel Emotion." Everyone has one or more emotion that just makes them extra vulnerable to losing a battle. For many high school aged teens, it may be boredom. I met several guys who struggle to win when they are angry. I do some really stupid stuff when I am sleepy.

It can be very helpful to try and name the feeling you are experiencing, particularly for men. At an early age both boys and girls experience most emotion deep in the middle portion of the brain where there are few connections to the language parts of the brain. This is part of why it is difficult for small children to articulate how they are feeling. As girls mature into women, many of those emotions migrate to the surface where there are many language connections making it easier to communicate how they feel. For men, the majority of emotion is still experienced deep in the brain and it is much more effortful for them to articulate what they are feeling. By giving names to those feelings, it becomes a little easier to communicate but also helps them "flag" them so they can recognize these feelings later and any vulnerabilities that may come with them.

If we use the same example we have for the other articles, perhaps you are sitting at your desk at work and are just bored to tears. Your eyes flick to the cookies, "Dude! Those look really good right now."

"No, I promised myself I wouldn't."

"You didn't really mean that. Besides, it was so nice of Jennifer to bring them. You don't want to hurt her feelings by not eating one."

"Stop! I know where this is going."

"You don't have to eat one. Just think about how it would taste. Pick one up and smell it. That might satisfy you and you can put it right back."

"I shouldn't, but…."

I hope by now you were able to recognize the transitions from Level 2 to 3 and from Level 3 to 4 in that conversation. In our example, if this person doesn't do something drastic immediately they will quickly reach Level 5, then Crash.

The conversation would be different if you were anxious because you had to meet a deadline, but the result may be the same. Whatever your Achilles Heel Emotion is, Satan will use it against you to persuade you to eat the cookie.

There are several ways to win a mood battle, which is a bother term for fighting at Level 2. One of the most helpful is running your Flagpole. If you are fighting an "I don't feel like it" battle, then the key is "Don't think, don't feel, just do." If you pause to check how you're feeling before doing what you know you should, you'll discover that you very rarely actually feel like doing what you committed to do.

Another way to win a mood battle is "Notice it, Name it, Flip it, Find it." In this strategy you notice the Level 2 you are experiencing, you analyze it, and you give it a name. Then you flip it, or consider what it's opposite and edifying version might be. Once you have identified the edifying version, you find a plan or a first step to  begin doing what people who feel that way do. "And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness" (2 Nephi 5:27). If you are seeking peace, live after the manner of peace. If you want to be patient, live after the manner of patience. Your heart will follow your body and you will begin to feel the way you are acting.

As a disclaimer, I should note that it is very difficult to use "Find it, Name it, Flip it" during a panic attack. After all, who can act peaceful when you feel a crushing weight on your chest and literally cannot breathe properly? The same is true for anxiety attacks, as well as manic or depressive episodes. In each of these extreme cases, and others like them, Level 2 battles are far more intense than most of us will have to deal with. Winning here is possible, but it may take the coaching of a qualified counselor.

How easy it is to win a battle at Level 2 is mostly dependent upon the intensity of the emotion.  Most battles for most people will involve very subtle unedifying emotions such as being just a little bored, or a little sleepy, or a little stressed.  For most people, relatively few battles will involve the world-shattering emotions of grief, depression, panic and anxiety attacks, and so on.  Whether intense or subtle, these battles can be won and winning here is so much better than trying to fight at a Level 5.

In the next and last article in this series, we will explore Level 1: the Chemical Drip and Level 0: In Control.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Chemical Scale - Level 3: "Dude!" Moment

This is the fourth in a series of articles on the Chemical Scale

Level 3 is the first moment of temptation. This is when the actual thought to do something against your value system occurs. By this point we want some form of relief from our stresses or bothers.

You can experience Level 3 several times before you reach the Irrational Conversation at Level 4. You will likely keep receiving these tempting thoughts until you either win the battle or sink down to Level 4.

We call this "The 'Dude!' Moment" because Satan seems to use that kind of false comradery when he tempts young men. He'll act like your best bud while leading you into a snake pit. "Dude! Nobody's home, you know what we could do right now?"

"Dude! It's been a while since you've taken a break. You've been working hard, you deserve to treat yourself."

Using our cookies at work example from the previous articles, this is the first time the thought "Those cookies really look good" enters your mind. Other possible examples might be: "Dude! Those cookies look so good! It would be rude not to have one." Or maybe, "Dude! You're starving! You could use a snack.”

It may even be so subtle that you find yourself reaching for a cookie almost without knowing it. With patience and practice you can become more aware of these shifts. As you get better at detecting Level 2 and Level 1, "Dude! Moments" will become more obvious.

When you are trying to learn how to recognize your Level 3’s it is helpful to try and identify recent ones that you have had.  As you find them, try to identify patterns that Satan is using against you. You will likely discover that Satan uses the same tactic against you over and over again.  Look for a common time.  Does the temptation come when you are closer to waking up, closer to going to bed, or somewhere in between?  Look for common locations.  Does Satan attack you in front of the TV, in the break room at work, at school?  Is there a common tactic that he uses?

In my own battles, Satan often attacks me a little before I need to go to bed.  He knows that I make poor decisions when I am tired.  If he can convince me that I am utterly exhausted and then present me with something that is against my value system, I am more likely to do something stupid or that I will regret later.

When you are this far into the Chemical Scale, it is best to run to your Flagpole or do something else that raises your heart rate. Sometimes that isn't an option. Perhaps you are in a class or meeting where standing up and leaving would not be appropriate. This would be a good time to use a Thought Shield. A Thought Shield is a picture or note you carry with you that is both meaningful to you and helps bring you back to a good place. Many people use a favorite picture of Jesus Christ, a note card with their reasons for fighting or a scripture they are memorizing, or perhaps a picture of their family. You carry this item with you at all times, and when you are tempted you pull it out, look at it, and say "This is my Thought Shield."

Next we will focus on Level 2: UnedifyingEmotions.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Chemical Scale - Level 5: "Forget It!"

This is the second in a series of articles on the Chemical Scale. 

Level 5 is what we call the "Forget it!" moment. This is the most obvious of the lower levels of the chemical scale, and can often be recognized easily once you know what to look for.

Level 5 is the point where you give up, but haven't actually lost yet. This is when you choose to stop fighting and give in to the pressure and temptation to act against your value system.

We've all experienced a Level 5 at some point, though you may not be able to remember a specific instance right now. I like to explain is as that time you were working on a project late at night, trying to beat a deadline. You're stressed and things aren't going the way you want them to. After another thing goes wrong you just get so frustrated that you decide you don't care anymore and storm off to bed. That is Level 5, the point where there is so much pressure that you don't care about the consequences anymore and do what you know you shouldn't.

Using the coin donation funnel analogy, this is when the coin is over halfway down the funnel and begins to pick up speed.  It isn't deep in the throat yet, but it will get there soon.

Going back to the cookie at work example from the last article, this is when you've been staring at and resisting the cookies for what feels like forever. Then, when you feel like you just can't help it anymore, you choose to ignore your goal and reach for a cookie.

It is possible to win a battle at this stage, but it rarely happens and is immensely difficult. Winning at this stage usually requires intervention from someone else.  Someone could slap your hand as you reach for the cookie, a quick snatch could rescue the coin, but if there is no external intervention then the battle will almost certainly be lost.

In the next article, we will explore Level 4 of the Chemical Scale, the Irrational Conversation. 

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching