Satanic Spin

This article is a companion to the series on the Chemical Scale.

In other articles I have talked about how someone who is intelligent and normally self-disciplined can do something contrary to their value system. In a biological sense, we are describing how energy in the brain moves from the prefrontal cortex (where morals, values, and judgement skills are) to the midbrain or "animal brain" where only basic instincts matter. We describe that process with the Chemical Scale.  The Satanic Spin describes how Satan is able to move us from one level down to the next one.  We've used the analogy before of one of those coin donation funnels that you see in malls and museums. How deep the coin is inside the funnel is the Chemical Scale. The process of the coin rolling around the funnel is the Satanic Spin.

The Satanic Spin has several events that are repeated over and over until something stops it, usually you doing whatever it takes to win the battle. The first event in the Spin is called the "Flash."

The Flash is a brief thought or image that Satan quickly throws through your mind trying to initiate a biochemical shift. It normally isn't something big or even very contrary to your value system. He knows that when you are at Level 0 that any blunt temptation he offered you would be ignored. He has to be subtle. The Flash will probably start in a grey area, something that doesn't feel quite right but doesn't really seem wrong. Later the Flashes will become bolder and more obviously contrary to your values, but Satan needs to build some momentum first. Use our coin donation analogy, he is just trying to get the coin from your fingers to the ramp right now. The first Flashes are all about getting the coin into the funnel so he has some real influence.

Another analogy may be helpful. A thirteen-year-old boy is walking down the street when he notices an open can of paint sitting on your front porch. He thinks it would be great fun to run up and kick the paint can sending the paint all over your porch, lawn, and side of the house. But he notices the front door is open and doesn't want to be caught. So he reaches into his back pocket where he, like many thirteen-year-old boys, keeps his slingshot. He begins shooting pebbles at the can of paint. Some miss and some hit. The ones that do hit aren't big enough to knock over the whole can, but they do make a little paint splash out onto the porch and house. The more times he hits the can, the more paint splashes out. Eventually your porch, lawn, and house will look as if the boy had kicked the can over even though he never got anywhere near your doorstep.

In this analogy Satan is the boy. The house is your mind. The pebbles flying from the slingshot are the Flashes. There is enough going on inside the house that if the boy is careful, no one may notice the rocks he is shooting at your paint can. This is how Satan approaches messing with your head. He works subtly so that you don't see his hand until after the fact, if you see it at all. He'd much rather have you believe that the spilt paint was somehow your fault.

When Satan sends a Flash that hits your "paint can" he successfully causes a little biochemical spill inside your brain. There are many biochemicals in your body, and which one spills depends on the kind of Flash Satan throws at you. It may be an image, thought, memory, or snippet of conversation that provokes certain responses in you. The biochemical will cause certain physical reactions in your body (ex: elevated heart rate, tenseness in shoulders, warm feeling in cheeks, shortness of breath, jitters, etc.) and will lead to the inklings of an emotion.

These inklings or partial emotions are the subtle shift in your feelings that, over time, will take you from a place where you are feeling edified and in control to a place where you are out of control and you no longer care about the consequences of your actions and lead you to do things against your value system.

These emotions lead to the "Filing Cabinet" of your memories where you think of times where you have felt similar things.  The human brain is fascinating because it can’t tell the difference between memories, fantasies, and reality.  It’s as if the brain is a Lego set with a limited number of bricks.  It will build a model, take a picture of the model, file the picture in its Filing Cabinet, then take the model apart to process something else.  When you remember something your brain pulls the picture out of the Filing Cabinet and rebuilds the model, sometimes making adjustments based on your current emotional, psychological, physical, social, or geographical context.  In other words, when you pull a memory from your Filing Cabinet that is similar to the partial emotions you are feeling your brain processes it as if it is your current reality.  That becomes a Flash that leads to gradually more and more intense chemicals, feelings, and memories.  Can you see how it is a repeating cycle, a whirlpool that gradually leads you further down and closer to acting against your value system?

This may become less abstract and easier to understand with an example.  A little personal context will make this example easier to follow.  As a teenager and young adult I participated very actively with the Boy Scouts of America.  I worked at a Scout Camp for eight summers.  Along the way I met some volunteers who amazed me as well as some Professional Scouters who really disappointed me.  One of these people who really disappointed me was a boss one year that I worked with at Scout Camp.  Throughout our professional relationship I felt manipulated, micromanaged, and things ended in a poor way.  Satan will often use memories of this relationship to pull me into a Spin.

Perhaps I am going about my day, minding my own business, when I suddenly get a Flash.  Perhaps Satan creates it, or maybe just takes advantage of it.  It may be something I see or maybe I overhear someone say the word “scouting” or something similar.  Because of my negative experiences associated with the Flash, my chemicals start to spill, I begin to feel the inklings of negative emotions, and I remember the previous employer who I feel those emotions towards.  I start to think about specific things he did that I didn’t like, conversations we had, or things I wish I had said to him.  Each of these memories has their own twirl around the Spin with their own chemicals and feelings that lead to more memories.  My feelings of resentment and similar emotions continue to grow and I get pulled further down the Chemical Scale.  If I don’t recognize what is happening and stop the process by redirecting my thoughts and feelings to something better, then I get more and more sucked in.

Once you understand the Satanic Spin, it is important to know how to combat it.  It is also important to know that you can’t prevent the Spin from ever occurring.  Sometimes Satan will start the Spin with a provoking Flash.  Other times he will be taking advantage of the crummy stuff that just happens.  Inevitably, the Satanic Spin will start for each of us; the key is to be able to disrupt and stop it early on.  For many people they won’t recognize that they are spinning down this vicious spiral until they have made several loops and the emotions begin to become intense.  With practice you can begin to recognize those feelings at earlier and more subtle stages.  Then, again with practice and discernment, you can begin to recognize what the chemical spill feels like.  Once you can catch the battle there, it is a lot easier to win.

Biochemicals can be felt, but not in the same way as most moods or emotions.  They can be physical sensations such as rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, tenseness in the shoulders, or other similar things.  These kinds of experiences can be associated with either positive or negative events, so it will take practice to learn which ones are warning signs for the beginning of the Spin.  Other experiences that are chemical are things like just feeling a little off, feeling a little less motivated, not wanting to do the things that you know will benefit you.  With practice you will begin to recognize your own chemical experiences.

Your battles are much like the coin rolling around the donation funnel that we have talked about before.  As the coin rolls around the funnel, you experience brief images or thoughts that provoke chemical responses in your body.  Those chemicals lead to the inklings of emotions that remind you of past experiences or fantasies where you felt similar things.  Those memories provoke stronger chemicals, then stronger emotions, leading to more potent memories.  As the coin rolls around and around the funnel, it also moves deeper.  Unless something is done to snatch the coin back, to interrupt its momentum, it will continue down the funnel until it falls out of view and the battle is lost.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Flagpoles: go to your safe place

Do you remember doing fire drills in elementary school? The teacher would announce the drill ahead of time. Later, when the alarm went off, all the children would line up behind the teacher giggling to each other as they followed her outside to the designated safe gathering place. Maybe that safe place was the parking lot, the soccer field, or the flagpole.

The purpose of the fire drill was to train the children how to behave and what to do if there ever was a real fire. Perhaps you had an experience like me where there was a small cooking fire in the cafeteria and you actually had to use what you practiced. In my 5th grade brain, I was surprised at how well the drills had prepared everyone. Even though we were all surprised by the noise, we all acted calmly and did exactly what we were supposed to do.

The purpose of a flagpole, in regards to addiction recovery and self-mastery, is the same as a fire drill in elementary school. You practice getting out of a dangerous situation and going somewhere safe. A flagpole in this sense is a physical location that you run to where you will be safe from the danger of your daily battles. The best flagpoles are places outside your house that you run to when under attack. These places should be far enough away that it raises your heart rate to run there, but not so far away that the round trip takes more than five to ten minutes. The flagpole is useful whether the battle is with addiction or some other part of your value system. It is a place where you know you won't lose.

The aspect of running to your flagpole is important. Leisurely walk there gets you out of the vulnerable situation, but it doesn't remove the deviant chemicals in your system. In other words, you removed yourself from the battle but not the battle from your heart. The act of running, of raising your heart rate, of doing something physically strenuous, is one of the quickest ways to win your battles. If you don't raise your heart rate, you're postponing the battle not winning it.

An excellent way to "level up" your Flagpole and increase its power is to include Warrior Chemistry in it.  One way to do this is to imagine a loved one who needs your protection at your Flagpole.

Once you choose what or where your flagpole will be, it is crucial that you practice, or drill, running to it at least once a day until it becomes instinctual to go there when you are being attacked. The more times you drill running to your flagpole, the easier it will be for you to win. The people I know who benefit most from their Flagpoles run to it at least three times a day, whether they are being attacked or not.

Running to your physical flagpole is almost always best, but sometimes that isn't possible or appropriate. Perhaps you are at a business meeting, in a class, at church, or stuck in traffic. That is when it would be appropriate to use a mobile flagpole.

These mobile tactics work better against less intense battles and may need to be repeated several times for more intense battles. One of the most common mobile flagpoles is push-ups. If you can't do push-ups, there are other things you can do while driving or seated. One of the more effective mobile Flagpoles is known as a Thought Shield. A Thought Shield is a picture or note you carry with you that is both meaningful to you and helps bring you back to a good place. Many people use a favorite picture of Jesus Christ, a note card with their reasons for fighting or a scripture they are memorizing, or perhaps a picture of their family. You carry this item with you at all times, and when you are tempted you pull it out, look at it, and say "This is my Thought Shield." When used correctly, a Thought Shield trains your brain to automatically reroute thoughts of temptation to thoughts of your Savior.

There are other things that are helpful, though they are rarely as effective as a real Flagpole or Thought Shield. These often come in the form of personal quirks and reminders. I squeeze my wedding ring between my fingers. I know other guys who shake their head, snap their fingers, squeeze their fingernails into their palms, or other things like that. They can be good grounding techniques that will keep you safe enough until you are able to run a real Flagpole.

In our spiritual war against Satan and sin, almost every battle we lose involves a misuse of our body. Since that is the case it would make sense that we need to use our body to win. One of the quickest and most effective ways to do that is by sprinting to your Flagpole, your safe place.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Learning from Failure: how to do a lost battle analysis

Q5: When you lost, what technique did the enemy use to defeat you? Is there a pattern? If you could replay the event, what could you have done to beat him? What drills can you do to make sure you win next time he tries something similar?

For a moment, take the perspective of your Adversary. Why would it be to your advantage if your victim forgot how you defeated them? Likewise, how could you benefit by getting them to focus on feelings of shame, self-pity, disappointment, and similar things instead of on the strategies you used to beat them?

We all have daily battles with temptation.  Some of those battles may include habits and addiction.  Other battles may be smaller parts of our value system such as, "I value reducing the amount of sugar I eat" or perhaps, "I value showing respect to the elderly."  Whether the conflicts are large or small, Satan frequently works to get the people he has beaten in battle to forget how he defeated them.  That allows him to use the same strategy against them over and over again.  When they do think about the recent loss, he tries to get them to focus on feelings of shame and failure so that they never actually learn from their experience.  By using one of the questions from the Captain’s Log in the book Like Dragons Did They Fight, you can learn from your losses and avoid much of the shame that Satan works to hit you with.

What technique did the enemy use to defeat you? Notice that the first part of the Q5 focuses on technique, not failure. The question isn't "Why did you mess up? What did you do wrong?" Instead the question focuses on how a brilliant and skilled opponent outwitted you. Figuring out what you did wrong, frankly, isn't very helpful. However, figuring out the tactic of your adversary is. Once you understand the strategy, it is a lot easier to defeat in its various reincarnations.

Is there a pattern? There is very frequently a pattern to the way Satan attacks. If a tactic worked before then he'll almost certainly use it again. There are several things you can look for to try to identify patterns. Look for a common time of day. Are you typically attacked closer to when you wake up, go to sleep, or somewhere in between? Is there a common location you are attacked at? A particular room in the house or place at work or school? Is there a common strategy?

Chemical Scale- Many people have a hard time remembering the details of their lost battles. It is very insightful to plot what they do remember from the battle on the Chemical Scale. By working backwards on the scale, you will find cues that help you remember important details that would be difficult to recall otherwise. You can follow this link here for a more detailed dive into the Chemical Scale than what we will do here.

It may be helpful to think of the chemical scale as one of those large coin donation funnels that you see at malls and museums. You place the coin on the little ramp, then let it roll around the large plastic funnel. At first the coin stays near the top, making large circuits that are relatively slow. The coin gradually rolls further in, moving faster and faster. Eventually the coin is completely horizontal, moving so fast around the small throat at the bottom of the funnel that it blurs into what looks like a ring instead of a coin. Then, the coin drops out of sight and with a small "clink" is out of your possession for good.

The Level 10 is "The Crash" or when the battle is lost. Using the coin funnel analogy, this is when the coin falls inside and is now beyond your reach. Up to this point you could lean in and snatched the coin back if you are fast enough, but now the coin/battle is gone and all you can do is learn from the past and prepare for the future.

At what point was the battle actually lost? At what point was it too late to turn things around, too late to snatch the coin out of the funnel?

In Levels 6 through 9 there isn't much to talk about. Your coin is over halfway into the funnel and rapidly spinning out of control.

Your Level 5 "Forget it!" moment is when you stop caring, stop trying, and throw in the towel. You haven't actually lost yet, but you've stopped fighting. This is when your coin tips past the halfway point and really begins to pick up speed. What was your "Forget it!" moment like for you?

Level 4 is the Irrational Conversation where you seem to be debating with yourself about losing. One voice is trying to talk you out of it, while another voice is telling you it's not a big deal, that you won't "go all the way" this time. What did your Level 4 sound like? How long did it last?

Level 3, the "Dude!" Moment, is the first time that the temptation to do something against your value system enters your thoughts. What did it sound like? How many of these did you get before it turned into the Irrational Conversation?

Level 2 is the Unedifying Emotion that you wanted relief from. This is what made the "Dude!" Moment even seem like an idea worth considering. What emotional experiences were you having? How long had they been going on before they turned to Level 3?

The Chemical Drip at Level 1 is the first time you felt a little off, a little less motivated, or similar sensations. What was that like and when did it happen?

Level 0 is the point where you are in complete control of yourself. Using the coin donation analogy, your coin is still in your hand and hasn't even touched the ramp at the top of the funnel. Before this battle, when was the last time you can remember being "Zeroed Out," where you were in full control and in communication with the Holy Ghost? Does it surprise you how much, or how little, time you spent at a 1 or 2 before Satan hit you with the rest of the battle?

Identifying lies- There are at least three places in scripture where Satan is called the "father of all lies." In nearly all lost battles there are lies that he persuades us to believe. There are more noticeable lies, like the stuff you hear at Level 4, and very subtle lies, like the things you can hear at Levels 1 and 2. Sometimes these are ways he persuades us to limit our power, in other words limiting beliefs.  For example, Satan may persuade you to believe that you are too tired to do what needs to be done. He is getting you to limit your capacity by making you believe you are more tired than you actually are.  What were the lies you fell for in this most recent loss? What are the truths?

If you could replay the event, what could you have done to beat him? This is the point where you analyze what you could have done differently.  Answering this question after analyzing everything else helps you be more aware of what you can do differently next time. If the previous parts of the Q5 have gone well answering this question will not bring any shame, only insight and understanding.

What drills can you do to make sure you win next time he tries something similar? Satan will likely use the same technique again under different circumstances.  What strategies and tools will you put in place?  How will you drill and practice?  This is perhaps the most important part of doing a Lost Battle Analysis, planning how you will win in the future.

When you begin to have more success in your battles, it is also instructive to analyze any “close-calls” or “near misses” where you just manage to win.  By walking through the same process with these close-calls, you can determine how to strengthen your Border Patrol before you have a real lost battle.  The only thing that changes is how the questions are phrased.

In scripture and in General Conference talks, there are many references to the principle of learning by our own experiences. Your lost battles and close-calls are crucial parts of your experience. You can learn more about how to improve and progress in your goals by analyzing your lost battles than from most any other resource. Following the outline of a Q5 is an excellent way to help you learn from your own experience what you need to do to improve and become more perfect in winning your personal battles.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

With Wings as Eagles: receiving a renewal of your body

In my role as a life coach, one of the common battles that I help Warriors deal with is when they have stayed up late and still need to finish parts of their PoWeR goals or Border Patrol before they go to bed. The tactic Satan uses is to pit something "good" against something that is "better." He whispers to these Warriors about how late it is, how tired they are, how important sleep is, he'll draw to their attention just how few hours of sleep they will get before they need to wake up in the morning. Then the scumbag will tell them that finishing their Border Patrol activities will take more time, time that they could be sleeping, sleep that they need to function properly. This is the general pattern that Satan follows with this tactic, but the details of each situation vary from person to person. I work with the warriors to help them learn from and prepare for these battles, then I teach them this powerful principle.

There are several places in scripture that talk about a renewal of the body. While that sounds like the resurrection, the verses I found related to this blessing all refer to the renewal of our mortal bodies in this life. I'm sure that this blessing has many facets to it, but the one I typically tell warriors about is how it seems like God can give you the equivalent of 8 hours of good sleep in 4 hours or less.

The verse that began to help me understand what it takes to qualify for this blessing is Doctrine and Covenants 84:31 "For whoso is faithful unto the obtaining these two priesthoods of which I have spoken, and the magnifying their calling, are sanctified by the Spirit unto the renewing of their bodies."

Faithful unto obtaining the two priesthoods, Aaronic and Melchizedek, is fairly clear. A man must be worthy to have these authorities conferred upon him. Magnifying a calling means to increase it, or make it greater. The parable of the talents comes to mind, the Lord gave the servants certain authority and responsibility and the righteous servants used what they were given to increase the Lord's property. The servant who was called wicked returned to Lord exactly what he had been entrusted with. In whatever role you are called to, use that authority to draw people close to Christ.

As I pondered this verse I thought about God's daughters and how it didn't seem to fit with my understanding of His justice. Heavenly Father offers all of the same blessings to His righteous daughters as His righteous sons. They hold different kinds of authority, but no blessings are withheld. Trying to understand how women qualify for receiving a renewal of the body led me to other scriptures.

The second verse I found that helped me understand this gift was Romans 8:11 "But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you." What I learned from this verse is that you have to have the Holy Ghost dwelling within you, being your companion. All those who have been baptized and received the gift of the Holy Ghost are promised that they can have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost if they will live in righteousness according to God's commandments, and heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

I found another verse that helped me understand how to qualify for a renewal of the body.  It is Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." In older English, the concept of "waiting upon" was much more familiar than it is today. This isn't just sitting tight while the Lord does what He needs to do. This is serving intently and faithfully the way an excellent waiter would at a restaurant or how an 18th Century lady's maid would help her mistress to dress and meet other needs.

As I understand it, the requirements to qualify for receiving a renewal of the body are: to obtain the Aaronic and Melchizedek priesthoods if eligible, to magnify your calling (to increase or make greater), to have the Spirit dwelling in you, and to serve God with the faithfulness of one who is intently looking for an opportunity to help.

In addition to qualifying to receive this blessing I think that it is appropriate, and sometimes necessary, to ask for it. While God can give someone a renewal of their body without them asking for it, it also seems like there are often blessings that He wants us to ask for before he gives them. That seems to be the case with personal revelation. All the common scriptures that I am familiar with that discuss receiving revelation have asking as an integral part of the process. I think that is also true for receiving a renewal of your body.

As I speak to the people I work with as a life coach about this principle, we explore how they can qualify for this blessing and how it will help them.  As I mentioned earlier, for many of these warriors that includes the miracle of receiving more rest with fewer hours of sleep.  In other circumstances I think it may have more to do with energy levels, health, and youthfulness than with sleep.  One clear example is President Russel M. Nelson.  Right now he is 95 years old, but he looks, acts, and works like someone decades younger.  In an interview for Church News, his wife Wendy spoke about how as President Nelson is doing the work he came to Earth to do, that he is getting younger.

I don't think you need to be a prophet or apostle to receive a renewal of your physical body, it is just easier to see this blessing in many of their lives.  I think that if you are trying to do the work your Father in Heaven has for you to do, and if you ask to be blessed with a renewal of your body, that God will give you what you need to press forward and "mount up with wings as eagles."

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Chemical Scale - Levels 1 and 0: Chemical Drip and In Control

This is the sixth and last article in a series on the Chemical Scale.

Level 1

Level 1 on the Chemical Scale is the Chemical Drip or Chemical Spill. This process is what gives the Scale its name. The human body has many biochemicals that it uses for many purposes. Some are called hormones, others are called neurotransmitters, and more have other names. They all have purposes and ways that they influence you. Satan has discovered how he can use some of those chemicals to mess with you and lead you towards failure.

Changes in our chemicals are very subtle, but recognizable with practice.  Early in my attempts to notice the Chemical Scale in myself I made the mistake of looking for emotions or feelings at this level.  As we discussed in the last article, feelings and emotions that make you vulnerable to attack occur at Level 2.  Eventually, I discovered that biochemicals aren't recognized by feelings or emotions, but by the physical sensations that occur with them.  Feelings and emotions will join these sensations later on, but by that point you are at Level 2.  Chemicals are so subtle and hard to notice at first that I'll provide an extreme example that I hope will be helpful.

There was a semester during my undergraduate studies where I was under immense stress.  I was working a graveyard shift and normally only got four hours of sleep a night.  That intensified the stress from classes, church responsibilities, a relationship, and preparing to be the director of a summer camp that would serve over 10,000 children and teenagers and it was not adequately staffed.  During this stressful time I attended a university devotional.  Everything was fine at first, but as I left the building I experienced my first anxiety attack.  My thoughts were racing, I had the intense urge to sprint away from the crowd as fast as I could and find a place to hide, my heart was beating hard and fast, my breaths were quick and shallow, I felt like there was immense pressure on my chest.  All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide.  After the anxiety attack passed, I felt extremely cold.

Looking back over the “symptoms” I experienced, almost none of them are emotional in nature.  They are physical sensations that came largely as a result of the flood of anxiety and stress related chemicals I was experiencing.  

Physical sensations also accompany the more subtle chemical shifts we experience, and we can recognize them with practice.  It takes self-awareness and analyzing what our physical bodies are experiencing.  I have known guys who, with patient practice, can recognize a chemical shift literally in their sleep.  They then trained themselves to almost automatically wake up when they experience that shift and do what they need to do to win.

While winning battles at Level 1 are not necessarily easy, they are much easier.  I like to compare these battles to fighting a seven-foot tall, 300-pound gorilla-man who has a billy club.  At Level 10 you are out cold on the ground and the gorilla-man is standing over your fallen form leering at you.  At Level 5 you are lying defenseless on the ground about to get brained with the massive club.  Level 4 is fighting in hand-to-hand combat.  Skipping the other levels, if you fight the battle at Level 1 you are 300 yards away from the gorilla-man and you have him lined up in the cross hairs of your sniper rifle.  It takes skill and practice to win at this level.  You are defeating the same enemy, the battle isn’t any smaller or less important, it’s just a lot easier to squeeze a trigger than to try and catch the gorilla-man in a choke-hold.

There are many ways to win Level 1 battles once you begin to recognize the chemical drip. But whatever you do, it should invoke Warrior Chemistry. Just like you learned in chemistry class, some chemicals cancel out others. Warrior Chemistry will eradicate the deviant chemicals in your body. It takes powerful good chemicals to defeat powerful bad chemicals. You can't just try to think positive thoughts and call it good. If you don't change your chemistry, you will soon be fighting a mood battle at Level 2.

It's important to recognize that what works for one warrior won't have the same effect for another. It takes awareness and discernment to be able to recognize what strategies will help you correct your chemicals more easily.  You can use some of the following strategies to win a Level 1 battle, but remember that they should invoke Warrior Chemistry.  It doesn’t matter if it is the aggressive and protective side (hard Warrior Chemistry) or the creative and connecting side (soft) of Warrior Chemistry, but you need to use one or both to win.  Thought Shields, memorized scriptures, or reciting your reasons for fighting all work.  You can also use your Flagpole, ministering to someone, or connect with people in another way.

Level 0

When you do these things, when you win your battles at any level, you should end back at a Level 0. This is the level where you are in control and are the steward of the life and tabernacle that God blessed you with. For those who have had the priesthood of God conferred upon them, this is the place where they can exercise not only priesthood authority but also priesthood power. This is when you have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost and are most likely to recognize promptings, inspiration, and revelation.

When you are at Level 0, you are in full control of your soul.  You cannot be tempted or beguiled so long as you remain here.  Because we are all fallen creatures, we cannot (yet) stay perfectly at a Level 0 all of the time.  We will slip down the chemical scale and will need to fight our way back to a place of peace and power.  That is why maintaining an excellent Border Patrol is so crucial.  By having frequent rituals throughout the day that bring you back to a Level 0, you can be in full control more and better serve your God and those you love.  This is what the real battle, the real war is.  The war is to be able to keep the Spirit of God with you.  If you can win that battle, then you can win all of the battles that will come your way.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Campfires and Reasons for Fighting

How skilled are you at building a campfire? In my days as a

Boy Scout we would sometimes have competitions to build what we called "A One-Match Fire." We would race to build a fire so well that it only took one match to set the whole thing ablaze. In order to build a One-Match Fire we would spend most of our attention arranging the tinder and kindling, the stuff as thick as pine needles or pencils. After that was properly arranged we would quickly place the twigs, branches, and small logs. After the fire was lit and had been burning for a while we would add the large logs that would help the fire burn for a very long time.

In my work as a life coach, I've discovered that creating motivation and developing excellent, personal reasons for fighting are a lot like building a campfire. You've got your tinder which are things that matter right now or have a deadline in a few days. You're kindling size reasons are relevant or have a deadline in a week or two. Twigs and small branches are relevant in the next four to six weeks.  The logs are further off in the future, some stretching out into eternity. Normally, the reasons for fighting that people share are the large logs. These are what bishops and parents care about the most. These are the most impressive and seem most important. The large logs are things like serving a mission, getting married in the temple, going to the Celestial kingdom, being exalted, etc.

Have you ever tried to light a log on fire using just a match? It doesn't work. You can try over and over again, but all you'll get is singed bark and burnt fingers. Even if you douse the log in gasoline and throw a match on it, it won't really light. The gas burns off really hot and fast, leaving a log that might be slightly singed if you're lucky. The same is true with reasons for fighting. If you try to start your fire with large logs like missions, temple marriage, and exaltation, you'll almost certainly have dead matches and a cold fire.  These logs are essential for long term success, but you cannot start a very good fire with them. They become the primary fuel source once a healthy blaze is going.

In other words, when a fire is just getting started there are many more small pieces of wood than large logs. After a fire has been burning for a while it is mostly made from logs and has very few smaller pieces of wood.

Consider what short term reasons and motivators you can come up with.  Think of things with clear deadlines within the next 6 weeks or less.

If that is difficult for you to find these short-term reasons for fighting, it may help to answer the question, "If you lost today, how would that impact you tomorrow?" Your list might include feelings you'll have, people who you'll tell or will somehow know, or other things.

Then you can expand on those things by answering, "If you lost today, how would that impact you next week?" For many young men, answers include participation in the sacrament, interactions with girls, impacts on school work, and more.

From there you can explore how a loss will impact you in two weeks, or a month. The more you are willing to look and discern, the more ways you will find it impacts you.

After considering these questions you should

be able to find many short term reasons for fighting. It is helpful to keep these in your thoughts, and have a countdown to significant events. For example, I encourage young men to meet with their Bishop to discuss when they will be eligible to attend the temple or participate in the sacrament. After a certain period of sobriety is decided on, I ask young men to set a target date when they want to be able to enter the temple or participate in the sacrament. Then I have them count down. If they lose, that number resets. By doing this they see some of the immediate repercussions of a loss, but the longer they win the more motivated they are to fight because that number gets smaller. They can even make an advent calendar of sorts. They can cross off days on a calendar, tear links off a paper chain, or do something else that reminds them what they are fighting for and how close they are.

One of the quickest ways to develop personally meaningful reasons for fighting is to write them down everyday. Three times a day is better. There is something about the process of putting pen to paper that grounds us, helps us to consider things more deeply and more meaningfully. We involve both mind and body, which makes it easier to remember those reasons for fighting.

Ultimately, every warrior needs to develop a unique set of reasons for fighting that are personally meaningful to them. You cannot have long term success without them, if you manage to get any success at all. However, this set of reasons develops over time. It must start in the present, and as the fire of motivation grows you can add larger pieces of fuel that stretch further off into the future. Eventually you will have a roaring blaze built from both short and long term reasons for fighting. So long as you continue to stoke the fire by reviewing old reasons for fighting and adding new ones, the large blaze within you will not die out and you will have the ability to fight for years to come.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Thoughts on Technology: balancing restrictions and independence through accountability

I often meet with the parents of

teenagers struggling with addictions to try and answer their questions as best I can and give them a sense of hope for their child.  Some of the questions that usually get asked regard technology, parental restrictions, and safeguards.

With this discussion I think it is very helpful to understand a few principles before looking at specific things that will be "okay”, too lax, and too restrictive.  First we'll discuss the power of accountability and winning at home before looking at specifics and fostering independence.

I used to think being accountable was all about being punished when I did something wrong. I was held accountable when I received the just consequences of my disobedient behavior. This began to change when a church leader visiting my mission taught us. When I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we were part of a pilot program allowing missionaries to carry tablets. The expectation was that we should be using that technology appropriately and asking a companion to check our tablet daily to demonstrate how we were following that expectation.  This church leader, Elder Brent H. Nielson who was a member of the Quorum of the Seventy, told us that we should continue the practice of being accountable in our use of technology after our mission ended with a parent or our spouse. One missionary asked, "At what point can we stop checking in with somebody and just trust ourselves?" Elder Nielson's answer surprised me greatly and opened my eyes to what accountability is supposed to be.

In response to the missionary's question Elder Nielson quoted Genesis 2:18: "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;"

For those members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who have been endowed in one of God's temples, you will recall that accounting or reporting back is part of the pattern of heaven. On any matter of personal or eternal importance it is good to have an element of accountability. Reporting back or checking-in deepens relationships and creates motivation.

With that in mind, it is helpful to have protective measures in place so that you or whomever is struggling with appropriate use of technology is not fighting alone. That leads into the second point I wanted to make. No matter how hard you crack down on technology you cannot entirely prevent someone from misusing it. If someone is determined to lose a battle, they will find a way to get what they want. But that doesn't mean that you can't make your home an easier place to win. You can protect them from accidentally stumbling across something that will lead them to a lost battle.

There are so many young men I work with who are tempted to lose, but are not passionately seeking it out. For these boys, bumping into a Web filter or some other protection is the little push or reminder they need in order to win more of their battles.

Understanding those principles, there are a few things you can do that I would recommend. Password protect all devices with Internet access. Keep computers in publicly visible areas like the kitchen or family room. Practice "double-deep" which means they can't be on a computer unless someone else is in the room with them, even if that person is doing their own thing. Use a Web filter like K-9, Net Nanny, or Covenant Eyes. Do not give your child a mobile device (cell phone, tablet, laptop, etc.) until they can pay for their own. If you do give them a cell phone, consider having it be a ‘dumb’ phone (like a flip phone or a phone that doesn’t connect to the internet). If you do give them a smart phone, put protections on it that they can't change. Require that all phones be given to you or charged in a public place (ex: the kitchen) each night. Smart phones or other devices with Internet access should never be taken into bedrooms or bathrooms. Frequently check Web history on all devices and invite your children to check yours.

Obey all the rules you are asking your children to and be accountable to them. If you act above the rules you impose on your children, they will likely resist and resent the rules. If you explain they are part of a plan to keep your family safe, obey them yourself, and invite your children to keep you accountable, they are more likely to accept and appreciate the rules.

With these safeguards, it is important

to keep the long-term in mind. You want your child to be safe at home WHILE preparing them to safely function as an adult. I once met a mom who adamantly stated that she was the Web filter for her son. He was never allowed to be on the computer or access the Internet without her sitting right next to him the entire time. That can be a good thing to do, but what happens when this boy grows up and goes to college? What about when he gets married? It isn't practical to ask a roommate or spouse to sit with him each time he has to use the internet, they will have their own things they need to get done. Give him tools and teach him skills so that he can keep himself safe when he eventually grows up and moves out.

As your children develop and become better at exercising control, it will be appropriate to allow them greater flexibility within the protections you have established. Counsel with your children one at a time about what they are allowed to do with technology. The counseling aspect is important. Ask for and honestly consider their input. If you speak with them at a time where they are at a Level 0 on the Chemical Scale, they will know their limitations and weaknesses and may impose protections on themselves.

One of the greatest perils associated with modern technology is its tendency to isolate. Setting boundaries around what kind of technology you bring into your home, how much, how it's protected, and how often it can be used are ways that you can help your family members avoid the isolating effects of technology. By setting and abiding by standards as a family, you will experience a greater closeness with the Lord and His Spirit which will help you and your family to win your battles more easily and definitively.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching