Guilt can be helpful?

"How can guilt be helpful? I thought all it did was cause pain or discomfort."

It turns out, guilt can actually be a very helpful emotion. Elder Neil L. Anderson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said in the October 2016 General Conference,  “Guilt is like a battery in a gasoline-powered car. It can light up the car, start the engine, and power the headlights, but it will not provide the fuel for the long journey ahead.  The battery, by itself is not sufficient. And neither is guilt.”

Elder Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles described guilt as spiritual pain, and discussed its divinely intended purpose in his conference addresses in April 1989 and April 2001.  “You have an alarm system built into both body and spirit. In your body it is pain; in your spirit it is guilt - or spiritual pain. Both are a protection, for they sound the alarm ‘Don’t do that again!’”  “Guilt is to the spirit what pain is to the physical body. Physical pain is nature’s warning system that signals something needs to be changed or cleansed or treated.”

Guilt plays an important role, but it is important to differentiate between shame and guilt. They are not the same and they influence us in very different ways.

Shame and guilt are similar experiences, but their purposes, effects, and durations are different. Guilt is an uncomfortable or painful experience that is meant to invite improvement. It tells us that something is wrong and that changes need to be made. It can even help motivate us to start doing better.

Shame is an uncomfortable or painful experience that is meant to fester and discourage. Shame tells us that we are wrong, that we are broken and messed up. Shame tells us that we consistently fail and that every time we try to improve we end up worse than we were before.

Guilt is normally short-lived, it draws attention to failure and leaves as soon as you determine to improve. Shame lasts a long time, even after commitments to progress have been made. It nags, and undermines, and refuses to leave like a stubborn weed.

Guilt can be helpful, as long as it is experienced in a healthy way and leads you to change, repent, and improve.  When it lingers, causes more pain, and leads you to stagnate or do worse than you did before it is shame and needs to be removed from your life just like any other destructive thing.

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