Chemical Scale - Level 2: Unedifying Emotions

This is the fifth in a series of articles on the Chemical Scale.

We have been counseled often to watch our thoughts to keep ourselves safe. We even learn from several Book of Mormon prophets that we will be held accountable before God for our thoughts. But if all we do is watch our thoughts, we miss the two previous levels that set us up for failure. King Benjamin tells us to "watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds" (Mosiah 4:30). Level 3 is thoughts, Level 4 is words, and Level 5 is deeds. Unless you want to start fighting the battle after Satan has already made two successful assaults, you also need to "watch yourselves" which includes monitoring your emotions.

Level 2 is the Unedifying emotions that set you up for failure. I chose the term "Unedifying Emotions" over "Negative Emotions" or "Bad Feelings" on purpose because it conveys a different message. Firstly, I think there are very few emotions that can fairly be labeled as "bad" and there aren't very many of those. These would include feelings like lust, hate, and envy. While these can be Level 2's, they usually aren't. Secondly, some of the feelings we typically think of as negative can still be uplifting or edifying. For example, we learn in the New Testament that there are times that Jesus is so sad he weeps and others where he is so angry he chases people from the temple with a whip. While it's nice to feel upbeat, content, and positive, we need these "negative emotions" to be emotionally whole. Because of these reasons, I choose to refer to Level 2's as unedifying.

It may also be helpful to think of a Level 2 as some sort of emotional pain or discomfort that we would like relief from. Most people who don't feel pain aren't going to seek a painkiller. In the same way, if Satan tries to tempt us when we are feeling edified and don't need to relieve discomfort then we'll just punch him out and keep walking without even missing a step. He needs to groom us into a vulnerable place to do what we normally wouldn't. I hope you caught the vibe I tried to include in that last sentence. Satan is a pedophile, and he will slowly groom us and whisper lies in our ears until we eventually beat him to a pulp or he seduces us to do something we normally wouldn't.

Common examples of Level 2's are in the acronym B.L.A.S.T.: bored, lazy/lonely, angry/anxious/annoyed, stressed/sad, tired. A sure sign that you are at a Level 2 is when you find the voice of a loved one (mother, spouse, sibling, child, etc.) irritating. There are more than these, but these seem to be the most common ones. Again, these are the unedifying versions of these emotions. Captain Moroni used righteous anger to make the Title of Liberty and protect his people, Amalickiah swore in unrighteous anger to drink Captain Moroni's blood. Five hundred years later the prophet Moroni was anxious that those who read his writings would mock and disbelieve them because of his mistakes, from that anxiety came humility and the conversation where Jesus Christ promises that through His grace weak things can become strong. The ancient prophet Eli was too anxious to call his sons to repentance when they led Israel astray, and all of them perished. Boredom and laziness seem to be corrupt versions of resting.  Sadness often turns to self-pity and destructive actions, on the other hand the God of Heaven was so sad He wept at the wickedness of His children prior to sending the floods to cleanse the Earth.

There are many ways that a Level 2 can start. Sometimes it is instructive to backtrack and discover how and where the Level 2 began, but it may be better to do this after you have won the battle. By identifying how and where the unedifying emotion began you can figure out what things you are vulnerable to and need to avoid whenever possible. This can also help you identify what I call your "Achilles Heel Emotion." Everyone has one or more emotion that just makes them extra vulnerable to losing a battle. For many high school aged teens, it may be boredom. I met several guys who struggle to win when they are angry. I do some really stupid stuff when I am sleepy.

It can be very helpful to try and name the feeling you are experiencing, particularly for men. At an early age both boys and girls experience most emotion deep in the middle portion of the brain where there are few connections to the language parts of the brain. This is part of why it is difficult for small children to articulate how they are feeling. As girls mature into women, many of those emotions migrate to the surface where there are many language connections making it easier to communicate how they feel. For men, the majority of emotion is still experienced deep in the brain and it is much more effortful for them to articulate what they are feeling. By giving names to those feelings, it becomes a little easier to communicate but also helps them "flag" them so they can recognize these feelings later and any vulnerabilities that may come with them.

If we use the same example we have for the other articles, perhaps you are sitting at your desk at work and are just bored to tears. Your eyes flick to the cookies, "Dude! Those look really good right now."

"No, I promised myself I wouldn't."

"You didn't really mean that. Besides, it was so nice of Jennifer to bring them. You don't want to hurt her feelings by not eating one."

"Stop! I know where this is going."

"You don't have to eat one. Just think about how it would taste. Pick one up and smell it. That might satisfy you and you can put it right back."

"I shouldn't, but…."

I hope by now you were able to recognize the transitions from Level 2 to 3 and from Level 3 to 4 in that conversation. In our example, if this person doesn't do something drastic immediately they will quickly reach Level 5, then Crash.

The conversation would be different if you were anxious because you had to meet a deadline, but the result may be the same. Whatever your Achilles Heel Emotion is, Satan will use it against you to persuade you to eat the cookie.

There are several ways to win a mood battle, which is a bother term for fighting at Level 2. One of the most helpful is running your Flagpole. If you are fighting an "I don't feel like it" battle, then the key is "Don't think, don't feel, just do." If you pause to check how you're feeling before doing what you know you should, you'll discover that you very rarely actually feel like doing what you committed to do.

Another way to win a mood battle is "Notice it, Name it, Flip it, Find it." In this strategy you notice the Level 2 you are experiencing, you analyze it, and you give it a name. Then you flip it, or consider what it's opposite and edifying version might be. Once you have identified the edifying version, you find a plan or a first step to  begin doing what people who feel that way do. "And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness" (2 Nephi 5:27). If you are seeking peace, live after the manner of peace. If you want to be patient, live after the manner of patience. Your heart will follow your body and you will begin to feel the way you are acting.

As a disclaimer, I should note that it is very difficult to use "Find it, Name it, Flip it" during a panic attack. After all, who can act peaceful when you feel a crushing weight on your chest and literally cannot breathe properly? The same is true for anxiety attacks, as well as manic or depressive episodes. In each of these extreme cases, and others like them, Level 2 battles are far more intense than most of us will have to deal with. Winning here is possible, but it may take the coaching of a qualified counselor.

How easy it is to win a battle at Level 2 is mostly dependent upon the intensity of the emotion.  Most battles for most people will involve very subtle unedifying emotions such as being just a little bored, or a little sleepy, or a little stressed.  For most people, relatively few battles will involve the world-shattering emotions of grief, depression, panic and anxiety attacks, and so on.  Whether intense or subtle, these battles can be won and winning here is so much better than trying to fight at a Level 5.

In the next and last article in this series, we will explore Level 1: the Chemical Drip and Level 0: In Control.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Chemical Scale - Level 3: "Dude!" Moment

This is the fourth in a series of articles on the Chemical Scale

Level 3 is the first moment of temptation. This is when the actual thought to do something against your value system occurs. By this point we want some form of relief from our stresses or bothers.

You can experience Level 3 several times before you reach the Irrational Conversation at Level 4. You will likely keep receiving these tempting thoughts until you either win the battle or sink down to Level 4.

We call this "The 'Dude!' Moment" because Satan seems to use that kind of false comradery when he tempts young men. He'll act like your best bud while leading you into a snake pit. "Dude! Nobody's home, you know what we could do right now?"

"Dude! It's been a while since you've taken a break. You've been working hard, you deserve to treat yourself."

Using our cookies at work example from the previous articles, this is the first time the thought "Those cookies really look good" enters your mind. Other possible examples might be: "Dude! Those cookies look so good! It would be rude not to have one." Or maybe, "Dude! You're starving! You could use a snack.”

It may even be so subtle that you find yourself reaching for a cookie almost without knowing it. With patience and practice you can become more aware of these shifts. As you get better at detecting Level 2 and Level 1, "Dude! Moments" will become more obvious.

When you are trying to learn how to recognize your Level 3’s it is helpful to try and identify recent ones that you have had.  As you find them, try to identify patterns that Satan is using against you. You will likely discover that Satan uses the same tactic against you over and over again.  Look for a common time.  Does the temptation come when you are closer to waking up, closer to going to bed, or somewhere in between?  Look for common locations.  Does Satan attack you in front of the TV, in the break room at work, at school?  Is there a common tactic that he uses?

In my own battles, Satan often attacks me a little before I need to go to bed.  He knows that I make poor decisions when I am tired.  If he can convince me that I am utterly exhausted and then present me with something that is against my value system, I am more likely to do something stupid or that I will regret later.

When you are this far into the Chemical Scale, it is best to run to your Flagpole or do something else that raises your heart rate. Sometimes that isn't an option. Perhaps you are in a class or meeting where standing up and leaving would not be appropriate. This would be a good time to use a Thought Shield. A Thought Shield is a picture or note you carry with you that is both meaningful to you and helps bring you back to a good place. Many people use a favorite picture of Jesus Christ, a note card with their reasons for fighting or a scripture they are memorizing, or perhaps a picture of their family. You carry this item with you at all times, and when you are tempted you pull it out, look at it, and say "This is my Thought Shield."

Next we will focus on Level 2: UnedifyingEmotions.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Chemical Scale - Level 5: "Forget It!"

This is the second in a series of articles on the Chemical Scale. 

Level 5 is what we call the "Forget it!" moment. This is the most obvious of the lower levels of the chemical scale, and can often be recognized easily once you know what to look for.

Level 5 is the point where you give up, but haven't actually lost yet. This is when you choose to stop fighting and give in to the pressure and temptation to act against your value system.

We've all experienced a Level 5 at some point, though you may not be able to remember a specific instance right now. I like to explain is as that time you were working on a project late at night, trying to beat a deadline. You're stressed and things aren't going the way you want them to. After another thing goes wrong you just get so frustrated that you decide you don't care anymore and storm off to bed. That is Level 5, the point where there is so much pressure that you don't care about the consequences anymore and do what you know you shouldn't.

Using the coin donation funnel analogy, this is when the coin is over halfway down the funnel and begins to pick up speed.  It isn't deep in the throat yet, but it will get there soon.

Going back to the cookie at work example from the last article, this is when you've been staring at and resisting the cookies for what feels like forever. Then, when you feel like you just can't help it anymore, you choose to ignore your goal and reach for a cookie.

It is possible to win a battle at this stage, but it rarely happens and is immensely difficult. Winning at this stage usually requires intervention from someone else.  Someone could slap your hand as you reach for the cookie, a quick snatch could rescue the coin, but if there is no external intervention then the battle will almost certainly be lost.

In the next article, we will explore Level 4 of the Chemical Scale, the Irrational Conversation. 

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Chemical Scale - Overview

This is the first in a series of articles about the Chemical Scale.

Understanding the Chemical Scale is an important part of learning how to fight your spiritual battles. We win our spiritual battles when we continue to make choices dictated by our value system, what matters most to us. We lose battles when we allow our moods to make our choices for us. Learning how to recognize what level you are at can help you understand what techniques are necessary to win a battle. It can also help you recognize when you are under attack earlier in the battle, which often makes it easier to win. Like learning almost any skill, this takes effort and practice.

What we refer to as the Chemical Scale is something that describes how "stoned" or how "past feeling" (1 Nephi 17:45) someone is. It goes from 0 to 10, with 10 being the moment where the person does something they believe to be wrong, or that they have committed not to do. In other words, this is how people who are usually intelligent and self-disciplined end up doing something contrary to their value system.

From a more science-y perspective, this is how energy moves from the prefrontal cortex of the brain (where planning, judgments, values, and moral decisions are made) to the middle portion of the brain (where all that matters are things like food, water, reproducing, sleep, etc.).  At each level of the Chemical Scale, the judgment/value center of the brain loses energy and the basic drive (natural man) part of the brain gains power.

It may be helpful to think of the chemical scale as one of those large funnel-shaped coin donation wells that you see at malls and museums. You place the coin on the little ramp, then let it roll around the large plastic funnel. At first, the coin stays near the top, making large circuits that are relatively slow. The coin gradually rolls further in, moving faster and faster. Eventually, the coin is completely horizontal, moving so fast around the small throat at the bottom of the funnel that it blurs into what looks like a ring instead of a coin. Then, the coin drops out of sight and with a small "clink" is out of your possession for good.

Before the coin is released down the ramp, it is within your full control and your choices are determined by your values. Once the coin begins its journey around the funnel, biochemicals enter your system that will begin to pull your mental energy away from the moral-based decision area of your brain back towards the "animal brain." Unless something interrupts the coin as it rolls around the funnel, it will drop through the bottom and be lost. Similarly, unless you do something to interrupt the chemicals dripping into your system, you will find yourself doing something against your value system.

It is easiest to learn about and understand the individual levels of the Chemical Scale in reverse order. We will start with the most obvious and work backward to the most subtle. You can also view them in levels of difficulty. It is easiest to win a battle at Level 0, it is too late to win at Level 10 because the battle has already been lost.

The levels in the Chemical Scale are:

10- Crash

9-6- Spiraling out of control

5- "Forget it!"

4- Irrational conversation

3- "Dude!" moment

2- Unedifying emotion(s)

1- Chemical spill

0- In control

Level 10 is when you actually do the thing you know is against your value system. We'll use a relatively common example. Let's say you are trying to be more conscious about what you eat and how much. You have set the goal to not eat snacks or treats while you are at work. Today a coworker brought homemade chocolate chip cookies (or some other treat that you really enjoy) and they invited everyone to have some. They set the cookies on your desk because your workspace is near the center of the office. After trying hard to resist for a while, you give in and eat a cookie even though you have committed to yourself that you wouldn't. "The Crash" does not occur until you have eaten a bite of the cookie. All of the fighting and resisting occurs in the earlier levels and any guilt or remorse will happen later. "The Crash" is simply the event of doing something you believe is wrong, or that you committed not to do. At this point, the fight is over and the battle is lost. Now you have to learn from the loss and begin to fight again. 

Explained another way with the coin donation funnel from earlier, this is when the coin drops down through the hole at the bottom of the funnel.  The coin/battle is gone and you now have to look towards the future and what you will do with your next coin.

In levels 9 through 6 you are just spiraling out of control, but have not yet actually eaten the cookie or done the thing against your value system.  This is when the coin is deep within the funnel and is rapidly picking up speed, but hasn't dropped through the hole yet. There is not much in these levels to discuss. It is possible to come back from a Level 6, or even a Level 9, and win but it almost never happens. Winning at these levels almost always requires external intervention, often both divine and mortal.

Each of the other Levels will be explored in depth in their own article. Next, we will focus on Level 5, the "Forget it!" moment.

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Chemical Scale - Level 4: Irrational Conversation

This is the third in a series of articles on the Chemical Scale.

Level 4 is what we call the Irrational (or Stupid) Conversation. I like to explain that this is a lot like a scene from the Disney movie, "The Emperor's New Groove." In the movie there is a character named Kronk who has a shoulder angel and a shoulder devil. At one point he wrestles with the dilemma of obey his boss or save a life. Shoulder angel and devil show up to help, but the conversation makes no sense.  When Kronk tries to ask why the shoulder devil’s arguments are relevant, the shoulder angel says, “No, no, he has a point.”

The reason this example can be helpful is that when we review these conversations later, they sound so ridiculous.  We often don’t dare to repeat any part of these arguments out loud because of how stupid they sound.  BUT, in the moment and inside of our heads they make sense!

Our own personal Irrational Conversations may not involve one-handed hand-stands, but they are often nearly as ridiculous as the one that Kronk had.  Our conversations normally include elements such as, “You know where this is going” “You should stop now” “A little more won’t hurt” “I’ll stop soon” or “I can stop myself in time/before I go too far.”  Looking back at a time when you did something you regret; can you identify parts of your Irrational Conversation?  It may take some practice. Remember, we are working from most obvious to most subtle on the Chemical Scale. If you find yourself at a Level 5 with no memory of an Irrational Conversation, you likely just need to practice looking for some of the parts of that conversation. 

Going back to our cookies at work example from the last two articles, let’s identify what a Level 4 might sound like.  To clarify, this conversation takes place AFTER the initial moment of temptation.  You’ve possibly thought about having a cookie a couple of times but haven’t eaten one yet.  You may have even told yourself “no” several times.  You might catch yourself reaching for a cookie and then pull back at the last second.

Shoulder Devil: They look so good.  They probably taste even better than they look.

Shoulder Angel: You are trying to take better care of your body.  Ignore them.  Focus on your work.

Shoulder Devil: I can’t, they’re right there in front of me.  And they smell so good!  It would be rude to not at least try one.

Shoulder Angel: Remember what happened last time you just “tried one?”  Look away, think about what you want to accomplish by not eating these snacks.

Shoulder Devil: But I can always start again later.  I’ll probably end up messing up tonight anyway.  I might as well do it now while I can enjoy it.

This conversation can last a few seconds, or it can go on for days, depending on what the temptation is.  You may also have noticed that the Shoulder Angel normally speaks TO you, but the Shoulder Devil speaks as if they ARE you.  Satan is an excellent ventriloquist and he will speak to you in your own voice inside your head.  He will try to make it seem like he was never there, and you made the poor decision all on your own.

With practice, it is relatively easy to identify when you are at a Level 4.  If you catch yourself arguing with “yourself” about whether or not you should do something, you are most likely at a Level 4.

Winning these battles are tough, but doable.  They almost always require physical action, even exertion.  Using the cookie example, if you just sit there and stare at or try to ignore the cookies you will most likely end up eating one.  Even ignoring them is insufficient.  The cookies will hover there in your peripheral vision, just on the edge of your consciousness.  If you don’t get up and move, you will lose.  That may mean running to your Flagpole, doing pushups in the breakroom, or even moving the cookies to someone else’s desk.

This takes courage and determination, but if you don’t use your body then you will lose.  You can’t beat Satan in psychological warfare.  He’s been practicing it for over 7,000 years.  If you try to beat him using only your brain, you will lose.  You have to take the battle to a battlefield where you have an advantage. Get up and move, get your heart rate up, and you will win almost every time.

In our next article, we will look more closely at Level 3: The Dude! Moment.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

Guilt can be helpful?

"How can guilt be helpful? I thought all it did was cause pain or discomfort."

It turns out, guilt can actually be a very helpful emotion. Elder Neil L. Anderson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said in the October 2016 General Conference,  “Guilt is like a battery in a gasoline-powered car. It can light up the car, start the engine, and power the headlights, but it will not provide the fuel for the long journey ahead.  The battery, by itself is not sufficient. And neither is guilt.”

Elder Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles described guilt as spiritual pain, and discussed its divinely intended purpose in his conference addresses in April 1989 and April 2001.  “You have an alarm system built into both body and spirit. In your body it is pain; in your spirit it is guilt - or spiritual pain. Both are a protection, for they sound the alarm ‘Don’t do that again!’”  “Guilt is to the spirit what pain is to the physical body. Physical pain is nature’s warning system that signals something needs to be changed or cleansed or treated.”

Guilt plays an important role, but it is important to differentiate between shame and guilt. They are not the same and they influence us in very different ways.

Shame and guilt are similar experiences, but their purposes, effects, and durations are different. Guilt is an uncomfortable or painful experience that is meant to invite improvement. It tells us that something is wrong and that changes need to be made. It can even help motivate us to start doing better.

Shame is an uncomfortable or painful experience that is meant to fester and discourage. Shame tells us that we are wrong, that we are broken and messed up. Shame tells us that we consistently fail and that every time we try to improve we end up worse than we were before.

Guilt is normally short-lived, it draws attention to failure and leaves as soon as you determine to improve. Shame lasts a long time, even after commitments to progress have been made. It nags, and undermines, and refuses to leave like a stubborn weed.

Guilt can be helpful, as long as it is experienced in a healthy way and leads you to change, repent, and improve.  When it lingers, causes more pain, and leads you to stagnate or do worse than you did before it is shame and needs to be removed from your life just like any other destructive thing.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching

"You're a special kind of broken"

At some point in our lives, most of us have been persuaded to believe powerful and self-defeating lies about ourselves.  Those lies probably included things like, "I'm not special.  I'm the worst kind of normal.  I'm not just average, I'm less than average."

Another lie that Satan may have persuaded you to believe may be, "You're broken in a special way.  Other people don't have the same problems you have.  The fight is harder for you than it is for others.  They don't know what it's like, they don't understand, and they can't help you because you are more messed up than they are."

Essentially, Satan worked to persuade us that the only thing special about us was how we were "broken" or "messed up."  This subtle reversal of reality is surprisingly powerful.

When Satan can persuade us that there is nothing inherently special about us, he sends the message that there is no divine spark within us.  We are nothing more than an average, mortal, human.  This message can sap hope and murder potential.

When Satan persuades us that we are broken in a unique way, he sends the message that we are beyond help.  Other people can't understand, so there is no way that they can support or aid us.  Part of why this lie is so easy to believe is because we often can't see how hard things are for others.

When I was a teenager, I thought I had a unique difficulty with motivation.  I thought that I was the only person my age who struggled summoning the motivation to do things I disliked.  For some reason I thought that other teenagers had surpluses of motivation tucked away somewhere and that they never had an issue getting themselves to do tasks that they resented.  When I said as much out loud, I was shocked to learn every teenager ever struggles with motivation!  I thought I was more broken than the people around me and that they couldn't understand what I was going through.  In reality, I was so focused on my issues that I couldn't see that everybody around me had the exact same problem.

If we believe these lies, we believe that we are a typical person with immense problems.  We are duped into thinking that we are so weak and our issues are so complex that we can't solve them alone, and no one else can understand enough to help us.

These potent lies are, shockingly, a reversal of how things really are.  God made each of His children unique individuals.  Each is inherently special because they are His, and they each carry the spark of divinity that He placed within them.

Each of us is "broken," but we are all broken in the same way.  Because of the Fall of Adam and Eve, we are all cut off from the presence of the Lord and are susceptible to the temptations that surround us.  In other words, you are special. And though you may be broken, you are broken in the same way and same amount as everybody else. And that brokenness is made whole when we come to our Redeemer, Jesus Christ.

To hire me as your life coach where we can create a plan to put the above principles into practice for you, follow this link.  Fighting Like a Dragon - Life Coaching